"What would you intend to find? Solitude? Your piece of mind? Holding out for something less than touching the hand of God?" --'Closer' by Better Than Ezra
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
#9 You Don't Know Until You Know
I always grew up knowing I wanted a family. I understood the bond. I understood the love. Well, no, I didn't. I didn't realize I didn't know until the moment Eleanor was born. Then I knew. I knew how strong the bond is. I knew what love is. These last 4 months have sped by. We've seen her grow and learn and laugh. I look forward to the future. Having a child and raising a child benefits the soul. When you know, you know.
"What would you intend to find? Solitude? Your piece of mind? Holding out for something less than touching the hand of God?" --'Closer' by Better Than Ezra
"What would you intend to find? Solitude? Your piece of mind? Holding out for something less than touching the hand of God?" --'Closer' by Better Than Ezra
Monday, June 27, 2011
#8 Limit Your Regrets
Sorry it's been a while. Life.
Heber J Grant Story from his childhood (somewhere around 1866):
The winters were very cold in Salt Lake City, and Heber had only a thin, worn coat to keep him warm. He longed to have a warm coat but knew that they barely had enough money for food. Heber was delighted on his birthday when his mother presented him with a warm winter coat that she had made for him. His new coat was his most prized possession. A few weeks later, as Heber was hurrying on an errand, he saw a boy about his size shivering with cold. The boy was wearing a thin sweater, and Heber remembered how it felt not to have a warm coat. Heber took off his new coat and insisted that the boy put it on. He told the boy to keep it because he had another coat at home.
That afternoon Heber's mother saw him wearing his old coat. She asked "What have you done with your new coat?" Heber didn't know how to tell her. Then he said "I saw a boy that needed it worse than I did, so I gave it to him." Couldn't you give him your old one?" she asked.
Heber looked up at her, hoping she would understand, and saw her eyes fill with tears. He threw his arms around her as she answered her own question "Of course you couldn't Heber" she said. "Of course you couldn't"
One of my few regrets in life happened at CFA around Dec 1994. My girlfriend and I were on the way to the mall and we stopped to eat in at CFA. While eating, I saw a homeless man sitting and drinking coffee. He had a shirt, coat, and jeans. The missing item was his shoes and socks. He was barefoot. Unless you live through a GA winter, you may not realize just how cold it can get. I just kept looking at him-- hardly paying attention to my girlfriend. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. I knew what I had to do. And then, I didn't do it. I didn't give him the shoes and socks he desperately needed.
This event may not be the biggest regret of my life, but it's the one I remember most. So in a sense, it is the biggest. I wish I would have been more like Heber. Maybe next time.
Heber J Grant Story from his childhood (somewhere around 1866):
The winters were very cold in Salt Lake City, and Heber had only a thin, worn coat to keep him warm. He longed to have a warm coat but knew that they barely had enough money for food. Heber was delighted on his birthday when his mother presented him with a warm winter coat that she had made for him. His new coat was his most prized possession. A few weeks later, as Heber was hurrying on an errand, he saw a boy about his size shivering with cold. The boy was wearing a thin sweater, and Heber remembered how it felt not to have a warm coat. Heber took off his new coat and insisted that the boy put it on. He told the boy to keep it because he had another coat at home.
That afternoon Heber's mother saw him wearing his old coat. She asked "What have you done with your new coat?" Heber didn't know how to tell her. Then he said "I saw a boy that needed it worse than I did, so I gave it to him." Couldn't you give him your old one?" she asked.
Heber looked up at her, hoping she would understand, and saw her eyes fill with tears. He threw his arms around her as she answered her own question "Of course you couldn't Heber" she said. "Of course you couldn't"
One of my few regrets in life happened at CFA around Dec 1994. My girlfriend and I were on the way to the mall and we stopped to eat in at CFA. While eating, I saw a homeless man sitting and drinking coffee. He had a shirt, coat, and jeans. The missing item was his shoes and socks. He was barefoot. Unless you live through a GA winter, you may not realize just how cold it can get. I just kept looking at him-- hardly paying attention to my girlfriend. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. I knew what I had to do. And then, I didn't do it. I didn't give him the shoes and socks he desperately needed.
This event may not be the biggest regret of my life, but it's the one I remember most. So in a sense, it is the biggest. I wish I would have been more like Heber. Maybe next time.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Lesson 7: There Are Only Trade-offs
Study economics. It will help in both financial life and life in general. There is a an economic term, opportunity cost. It is choice B. It is what you leave behind in choosing Choice A. The trade-off. Wiki defines as: a situation that involves losing one quality or aspect of something in return for gaining another quality or aspect. It implies a decision to be made with full comprehension of both the upside and downside of a particular choice.
When choosing something, we are always (automatically) giving up on another choice. Some times those choice B's are lost forever, other times we may be able to get back to them.
When I chose to walk-on at GCSU, I gave up walking on for Duke (and Coach K was calling). When I chose to get married, I gave up on the other hotties in GA. Wait, AZ, maybe? And when I became a Naval Officer, I gave up the chance to be an enlisted dude. Are those necessarily bad things to pass on? Not really. But you have to live with your decisions.
The key before making a decision--and thus deciding on the opportunity cost, aka what you're leaving behind-- is to get as much information about the choices at hand. And with that info, weigh the pros/cons and possible outcomes of each choice. Only then, can you rationally make a decision. The results still may not be exactly what you anticipated, but those are the steps in making good decisions. And then, you can live without the trade-off.
When choosing something, we are always (automatically) giving up on another choice. Some times those choice B's are lost forever, other times we may be able to get back to them.
When I chose to walk-on at GCSU, I gave up walking on for Duke (and Coach K was calling). When I chose to get married, I gave up on the other hotties in GA. Wait, AZ, maybe? And when I became a Naval Officer, I gave up the chance to be an enlisted dude. Are those necessarily bad things to pass on? Not really. But you have to live with your decisions.
The key before making a decision--and thus deciding on the opportunity cost, aka what you're leaving behind-- is to get as much information about the choices at hand. And with that info, weigh the pros/cons and possible outcomes of each choice. Only then, can you rationally make a decision. The results still may not be exactly what you anticipated, but those are the steps in making good decisions. And then, you can live without the trade-off.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Back from Deployment Lessons (Lesson 6)
Well, I am finally back from my 1st Naval deployment. It lasted 8 months. It was full of a lot of laughs, work, studying, XBOX, working out, missing family and friends, and seeing more of the world. I'd like to share a few lessons that I learned from this time and the people that surrounded me:
1)Not everyone is as smart as you. And you're not as smart as you think. I'm sure we all know this, but this lesson is important to remember. Be patient when dealing with people that don't quite get it. Especially when it's important. You'll want people to be patient with you when a concept is not fully understood.
2)Morality is not measured the same by everyone. No reason to expound or judge, just remember that in life. And remember not to judge.
3)Embrace different cultures. Respect them. Learn from them. Have an open mind. But keep in mind, America is absolutely the best country to live in. Hopefully it will be in 20 years.
4)Never miss the opportunity to tell your loved ones that you love them. Although relatively safe on the carrier, death is still readily available. Accidents have taken a lot of sailors lives. I've already seen it. There is still a chance of that in everyday life. I think it would be awful to suddenly die from an accident and not have my family and close friends know what they mean to me. I will try to share that more. I shared it a lot with Stacy, on whom I should focus the most. But I also want my friends and past bosses or church leaders to know that they meant something to me. So I am trying to tell them one at a time. Via email or voice to voice. You should do the same.
I'm sure there are lessons that I have yet to draw out from this experience. I'm certain they will self manifest in due time.
1)Not everyone is as smart as you. And you're not as smart as you think. I'm sure we all know this, but this lesson is important to remember. Be patient when dealing with people that don't quite get it. Especially when it's important. You'll want people to be patient with you when a concept is not fully understood.
2)Morality is not measured the same by everyone. No reason to expound or judge, just remember that in life. And remember not to judge.
3)Embrace different cultures. Respect them. Learn from them. Have an open mind. But keep in mind, America is absolutely the best country to live in. Hopefully it will be in 20 years.
4)Never miss the opportunity to tell your loved ones that you love them. Although relatively safe on the carrier, death is still readily available. Accidents have taken a lot of sailors lives. I've already seen it. There is still a chance of that in everyday life. I think it would be awful to suddenly die from an accident and not have my family and close friends know what they mean to me. I will try to share that more. I shared it a lot with Stacy, on whom I should focus the most. But I also want my friends and past bosses or church leaders to know that they meant something to me. So I am trying to tell them one at a time. Via email or voice to voice. You should do the same.
I'm sure there are lessons that I have yet to draw out from this experience. I'm certain they will self manifest in due time.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Lesson 5: Music and Me
Music has always played a big role in my life. My dad introduced me to classic rock and most 80s rock. I got into rap around middle/high school. But then came the 90s and alternative. Counting Crows, Better Than Ezra, LIVE, and 7 Mary 3 and others were forever sealed into my heart.
When it comes to music, most music lovers love the music. The melody, the beat, the riffs…that’s what makes it special. Of the bands I listen to, not many are pure music geniuses/innovators outside of maybe The Edge (U2) & Brandon Flowers (Killers). But they all have a common feature that I am very fond of: the lyrics. See, I lean on lyrics more than I do the music. That’s what makes it special to me.
Adam Duritz (Counting Crows) and Jason Ross (7Mary3) sing about very personal stories. Songs of love, dreams, anger, and sadness. Ed Kowalczyk (LIVE) often writes about spiritual things. It’s interesting to follow his career as his first album focused on agnostic feelings where as his last several albums have claimed faith and a love for God. You just need to listen to The Killers. I can’t explain.
And then there’s Bono (U2). He’s on another plane altogether. His lyrics have no central focus as he touches on several topics. When he writes love songs, they are about his wife. He writes on political issues—begging for change. His political driven songs send a great message: we humans are better than the status quo. We can and should fix these problems. He supports ending war (Staring At The Sun), hunger (Crumbs From Your Table), poverty (Where the Streets Have No Name), and murder (Sunday Bloody Sunday, Pride). There are plenty of U2 songs that send the same message that humans are better than what we are living our lives out to be.
Bono also takes personal stories from peoples' lives and turns them into classic greats. Take some lines from “Miracle Drug”: "I want to trip inside your head, spend the day there, to hear the things you haven’t said, and see what you might see. I want to hear you when you call. Do you feel anything at all? I wanna see your thoughts take shape and walk right out… Freedom has a scent, like the top of a newborn baby’s head." Chorus: "The songs are in your eyes, I see them when you smile. I’ve seen enough, I’m not giving up on a miracle drug." This song was written from a mother’s perspective that had a son with cerebral palsy and could not speak or move. Scientists were able to fix his neck and strap on a device enabling him to type. Turns out he had a lot to say. The second verse of the song only gets better.
Or lines from “Original Of The Species” "Baby slow down, the end is not as far as the start. Please stay a child somewhere in your heart." A song written about The Edge’s daughter growing up way too fast (from a father’s perspective).
Long blog, but lesson is: Search for powerful, uplifting, motivational lyrics that will inspire you to live a better life and make your time here on Earth more meaningful. "Love, love, love. Where the streets have no name" –U2
When it comes to music, most music lovers love the music. The melody, the beat, the riffs…that’s what makes it special. Of the bands I listen to, not many are pure music geniuses/innovators outside of maybe The Edge (U2) & Brandon Flowers (Killers). But they all have a common feature that I am very fond of: the lyrics. See, I lean on lyrics more than I do the music. That’s what makes it special to me.
Adam Duritz (Counting Crows) and Jason Ross (7Mary3) sing about very personal stories. Songs of love, dreams, anger, and sadness. Ed Kowalczyk (LIVE) often writes about spiritual things. It’s interesting to follow his career as his first album focused on agnostic feelings where as his last several albums have claimed faith and a love for God. You just need to listen to The Killers. I can’t explain.
And then there’s Bono (U2). He’s on another plane altogether. His lyrics have no central focus as he touches on several topics. When he writes love songs, they are about his wife. He writes on political issues—begging for change. His political driven songs send a great message: we humans are better than the status quo. We can and should fix these problems. He supports ending war (Staring At The Sun), hunger (Crumbs From Your Table), poverty (Where the Streets Have No Name), and murder (Sunday Bloody Sunday, Pride). There are plenty of U2 songs that send the same message that humans are better than what we are living our lives out to be.
Bono also takes personal stories from peoples' lives and turns them into classic greats. Take some lines from “Miracle Drug”: "I want to trip inside your head, spend the day there, to hear the things you haven’t said, and see what you might see. I want to hear you when you call. Do you feel anything at all? I wanna see your thoughts take shape and walk right out… Freedom has a scent, like the top of a newborn baby’s head." Chorus: "The songs are in your eyes, I see them when you smile. I’ve seen enough, I’m not giving up on a miracle drug." This song was written from a mother’s perspective that had a son with cerebral palsy and could not speak or move. Scientists were able to fix his neck and strap on a device enabling him to type. Turns out he had a lot to say. The second verse of the song only gets better.
Or lines from “Original Of The Species” "Baby slow down, the end is not as far as the start. Please stay a child somewhere in your heart." A song written about The Edge’s daughter growing up way too fast (from a father’s perspective).
Long blog, but lesson is: Search for powerful, uplifting, motivational lyrics that will inspire you to live a better life and make your time here on Earth more meaningful. "Love, love, love. Where the streets have no name" –U2
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Lesson 4: Letting Go vs Going Off
There are times in life where push comes to shove and we humans give into the animal rage that is in our heart. It is important to try and tame that side as much as possible so as not to go to jail, have heavy fines, send someone to the hospital, end up in the hospital, have a record that prevents future opportunities, etc. But there's also times that you just need to forget about the consequences and take someone out. Just make sure you're not chasing a Hemi.
Example 1: On my mission I was confronted in an apartment by a guy that didn't want us knocking on doors. We explained to him we had the right and were going to do it. He then got angry and started yelling and following us. It was clear this would not work. So we went downstairs and started buzzing people on the intercom hoping someone would be interested. The man came down again and started yelling and basically said he would fight us if we didn't leave. He put down this hammer and sort of bucked up.
A million flashes went through my head. Namely, one where I rip this guy's head off. Then another flash entered of newspapers reporting a story of an LDS elder beating up a guy. Didn't think that would look right on us and it would hurt our efforts. So I backed off and we went our way. My companion was upset we didn't fight. I was too, but I knew it was one we had to let go.
Example 2: My friend Dustin and I were headed to the movies. Upon exiting the freeway at a light, the passenger in a Dodge Ram rolled his window down and seemed to be wanting to race me. I ignored him, besides, who would really want to race a Hemi against a 4 cylinder? As we continued, I took a right to head to the movies and the passenger flicked a coin at my windshield. Dustin said to turn around let's get them.
So we chase them down flashing my lights until the stop. They pull up and have at least 4 guys in the truck. We exchange a few words, I was primarily making fun of them the whole time. Then the driver threw a coin at us. Dustin and I popped out of the car so fast ready to take them on. As soon as we did, he took off in reverse, turned around and floored it. They were gone. We were so mad. We looked for them for about an hour and a half after the movie. No luck. But this was one occasion where I was willing to let my fists teach some young punks a lesson.
Example 1: On my mission I was confronted in an apartment by a guy that didn't want us knocking on doors. We explained to him we had the right and were going to do it. He then got angry and started yelling and following us. It was clear this would not work. So we went downstairs and started buzzing people on the intercom hoping someone would be interested. The man came down again and started yelling and basically said he would fight us if we didn't leave. He put down this hammer and sort of bucked up.
A million flashes went through my head. Namely, one where I rip this guy's head off. Then another flash entered of newspapers reporting a story of an LDS elder beating up a guy. Didn't think that would look right on us and it would hurt our efforts. So I backed off and we went our way. My companion was upset we didn't fight. I was too, but I knew it was one we had to let go.
Example 2: My friend Dustin and I were headed to the movies. Upon exiting the freeway at a light, the passenger in a Dodge Ram rolled his window down and seemed to be wanting to race me. I ignored him, besides, who would really want to race a Hemi against a 4 cylinder? As we continued, I took a right to head to the movies and the passenger flicked a coin at my windshield. Dustin said to turn around let's get them.
So we chase them down flashing my lights until the stop. They pull up and have at least 4 guys in the truck. We exchange a few words, I was primarily making fun of them the whole time. Then the driver threw a coin at us. Dustin and I popped out of the car so fast ready to take them on. As soon as we did, he took off in reverse, turned around and floored it. They were gone. We were so mad. We looked for them for about an hour and a half after the movie. No luck. But this was one occasion where I was willing to let my fists teach some young punks a lesson.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Lesson 3: Be Grateful for America
It's not a perfect country by any stretch of the imagination or propaganda that movies have put out. America is, however, the greatest country to live in, based on a system of government that allows freedom to prosper and a people that have a young, but rich tradition in pride, perseverance, and courage.We are surely aware of the low-lights of society and American government televised on daily broadcasts by what some deem to call news. (I call it entertainment reporting, but that's a-whole-nother post.) We need to remember that these cases we see are the few and far in between. American society is full of great individuals that do the right thing on a daily basis. It is full of heroes with pot bellies and bald spots going out every morning to hard jobs just to keep their family fed and sheltered. America is surrounded by great mothers teaching their children values. There are plenty of examples of love that is ingrained into Americans' lives. Just look around.
The great principle behind our government is that it is self-correcting. It may swing too far to the left and too far to the right at times, but over time, the system works and self-corrects. What a beauty. Read history if you are unfamiliar with its operations and its rewards. Our system gives us freedom! Read the history/current issues of other countries if you think the whole freedom idea is exaggerated or non-existent. The freedoms we enjoy in this country have become second nature to us. In order to truly be grateful for America, it is vital to understand that those daily freedoms we enjoy simply do not exist in several of the world's nations. Read that previous sentence again. American government is great. Despite its flaws, it is the best government in the world.
Be grateful for America, its people, its government, its history, its future. Stand up for America. Do not feel guilty or bad about our culture and way of life. Be proud of it. Always be thankful for such a blessing.
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